Discreet Storage
We get it, you have certain things in your company that you’d rather be kept away from prying eyes. Maybe it’s the secret recipe for your fizzy drink or fried chicken, maybe it’s financial records of various deals you don’t want the fuzz to find out about, or maybe it’s bio-material that needs to be kept out of the wrong hands. We have secure depots all around the globe that can accommodate any requirements you may have.
All our facilities include the latest in security innovations such as, but not limited to, razor-wire fencing, security cameras, biometric authorisation, signs that say “No Entry” on them, various padlocks, convoluted riddle-based locks, doors, adequately high walls, genetically-enhanced poodle guard dogs that have had their DNA spliced with that of a piranha, and lasers.
Mr. Fluffles graduated Top Dog from our Canine Training School and went on to guard facilities across the globe.
On top of all the features that come as standard, for additional costs we can also provide some luxury extras such as private security force with their own helicopter, on-site buffet for the security guards, underground train system, men willing to hang off buildings for photos, and underfloor heating.
With us, no one will ever know where the bodies are buried. Guaranteed.