Insomnium – Help us make a better world
Volunteers are vital to the work we do here at Veritas, which involves running various clinical trials to help develop, and improve upon, treatments for everything from the common cold to the bubonic plague. We also work with various agencies and governments around the world to help create some of these very same diseases and are big fans of playing both sides.
We realised many decades ago that it was far easier, and quieter, to run these trials without the volunteers even being aware that they were in them. This worked out best for us and our partners plus the volunteers themselves, we guess.
However sometimes a trial comes along where we need actual willing and self aware test subjects and we’ve now reached that stage with our Insomnium project.
All of our studies are ethically and regulatory approved ( Lawyer’s note: you can’t say this ), so you can rest assured that you’re in safe hands with us.
Millions of volunteers have already played a part in our clinical trials, with potentially hundreds being aware, helping us achieve great things in the name of science, and now is your chance to do the same.
Our new facility, set up specifically for Insomnium, is located in Oxford, and is equipped with everything a test subject could ever need. We have an on-site gym, retro themed diner with complimentary buffets provided by Hogs & Kisses, all the Veritice ice-cream you could ask for, secure private bedrooms with TVs, a group media room, a nursery, well-lit non creepy corridors, on-site doctors, and locks ( lots of locks ).
If you are generally healthy, aged between 18-65, and the owner of a smart phone or tablet, please apply to be a part of Insomnium today. We especially want subjects with no immediate family or responsibilities, for completely legitimate non made up medical reasons, and who won’t be thought of as missing if they have to stay in our trials for an extended period of time.
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Go on, you know you want to, you’ll be fine, we promise.